WTF: We should be more concerned about Aaron Taylor-Johnson

February 25, 2021 Madelyn Dewey

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is a popular star from films including Marvel’s Age of Ultron (2015), pictured above at the 2014 San Diego Comic Con. Taylor-Johnson met his current wife, Sam Taylor-Johnson, in 2008 when auditioning for the film Nowhere Boy (2009). (Courtesy of Gage Skidmore).

Content warning: discussion of grooming, manipulation, relationship abuse

In the spirit of my last article, which explored Evan Peters and his take on the Marvel hero Quicksilver, I began this week with Aaron Taylor-Johnson on the brain. I might have used this article as a space to compare the two and their unique portrayals of the character had I not begun my casual research into Taylor-Johnson and his life. Unfortunately, all plans of lighthearted superhero universe theorizing dissolved when I was accosted by the fact that Taylor-Johnson’s wife is 23 years older than him … WTF??

Don’t be ridiculous, you’re thinking. Maybe he’s just into older women. Sure, I might perceive the Taylor-Johnson relationship from this perspective if Aaron Taylor-Johnson, formerly just Aaron Johnson, had been in his thirties or forties upon meeting Sam Taylor-Johnson, formerly Sam Taylor-Wood. Actually, when Aaron met Sam, he had been 18 years old. She had been 42.

Sam was married with two children when she met Aaron. Her husband at the time was Jay Jopling, a famous art dealer. Though the two cited the involvement of “no other parties” in their separation in September 2008, Sam announced her engagement in Aaron one year later, in October 2009. Sam and Aaron announced that they got engaged one year to the minute of meeting.

It doesn’t take a genius to piece together that Sam separated from her husband in response to meeting Aaron, though this is hardly the problematic detail in the Taylor-Johnson relationship. I only include this piece of information in my article because it implies that Sam premeditated her relationship with Aaron immediately after meeting him.

The circumstances of Sam meeting Aaron are perhaps the most disturbing aspect of their relationship. The pair met when Aaron was auditioning to star in the film Nowhere Boy (2009). Sam was the director. Let’s examine that power dynamic: Sam decided to become Aaron’s boss. She had the power to determine the success of his career at the time. She “fought for him to be cast” for the role. 

According to Elle magazine, Aaron confessed to having a relationship with Sam while the movie was being filmed. “While the pair kept their feelings for each other under wraps at the time, [Aaron] admitted that he knew everyone on set was aware of their relationship,” says Elle Magazine.

Now let’s talk about grooming. According to the American Bar Association, grooming is “a predatory process” which entails gradually gaining a person’s trust with intent to abuse. The victim is usually “a child, teen, or vulnerable adult.” Aaron was 18 when filming for Nowhere Boy began in March of 2008. He met Sam when he auditioned for the role and remained a teenager even after his birthday in June, when their relationship continued to develop. 

Teenagers are vulnerable to grooming, particularly when the perpetrator is an adult—again, Sam was 42 years old at the time of filming—with an excess of power or control over the victim—again, Sam was Aaron’s boss. The age gap would be creepy without such a severe power difference.

When Aaron was still 19 years old, in January of 2010, Sam became pregnant with his child. The pair were not married at the time. After their first daughter was born in 2010, Sam gave birth again in 2012 to their second child, still out of wedlock. 

If Aaron hadn’t felt responsibility to wed Sam before, he likely felt it by the birth of his second daughter. In a 2010 interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Sam spoke on Aaron’s behalf to say that he told her—at age 18 or 19—that he “said he wanted kids.” The fact that Sam is quoted saying this, not Aaron, is worrying in itself. Aaron has been quoted saying “‘I wanted kids, we had kids,’” after Sam gave birth as a reason for the success of the relationship. Sounds a bit like entrapment to me.

Sam has boasted that, throughout the couple’s relationship, the pair have “only been apart for maybe two or three days” at a time. “We hardly go out now, it’s just us,” Sam said to Harper’s Bazaar in 2010. Interestingly, groomers and abusers often try to spend “every minute with their partners,” something that seems sweet on the surface but is actually a tactic intended to isolate and manipulate victims into becoming dependent on the abuser. 

The couple uphold a reputation for keeping their relationship extremely private. This is another tactic often also employed by manipulators or abusers. Preventing a partner from speaking openly about a relationship is common for manipulators. Even for someone to naturally feel disinclined to share relationship details publicly is a common sign of shame and innate discomfort with the interpersonal aspects of a relationship.

If this relationship were one in which the genders of Aaron and Sam were reversed, I believe more people would be talking about the extreme age gap between the two, as is the case in relationships such as Jim Carrey and Ginger Gonzaga or George and Amal Clooney. It is important to recognize cases in which men may also be victims of abuse, even if men traditionally have more power than women. This is one such case in which an older woman may have taken advantage of a teenage boy.

I need to acknowledge Aaron before I end this article. It’s important to note that most victims of grooming and relationship abuse are unaware of the abuse while still in the relationship. It’s unlikely that Aaron can get space enough to recognize the abusive nature of Sam’s behavior at this point in time, especially after having been married to her for more than a decade. After having children with Sam, Aaron may also feel a certain type of responsibility to maintain the relationship and to shun such allegations against his wife. 

Take my analysis with a grain of salt. Celebrities and their lives can never truly be known, and I often refrain from speculation personally on the basis of offering famous individuals some semblance of privacy. That being said, it’s often hard to notice the signs of abuse until someone points them out. Be wary of the signs of abuse in your own relationships. Anyone can be abused.